Why Does Healing Feel Like a Rollercoaster?

One day, you feel light—like you’re finally moving forward, like you’re breathing easier. And then, out of nowhere, the weight comes crashing back down. The sadness, the fear, the memories… you thought you had left them behind. Why does this happen? Why is healing so full of ups and downs?

This post is for me as much as it is for you. I needed this reminder today.

✨ Your body is learning that it’s safe now.

Healing isn’t just in your mind—it’s in your nervous system, in the way your body learned to survive. Trauma taught you to be on guard, to expect danger, to brace for the worst. And even when life is safer now, your body takes time to believe it. Some days, you will feel calm and open. Other days, your body will pull you back into old patterns. This isn’t failure. This is your system unlearning and rewiring.

✨ Healing happens in layers.

You don’t just wake up one day and suddenly feel “healed.” It comes in waves. You process one piece, and for a while, you feel lighter. Then, another layer appears—memories, emotions, wounds you didn’t even know were still there. It’s painful, but it’s progress. You are going deeper, not backwards.

✨ Life keeps testing you.

Healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. The world keeps moving, people keep showing up in ways that trigger old wounds. It’s not that you’re breaking down again—it’s that life is giving you a chance to respond differently. Some days, you will. Other days, you won’t. Both are okay. Growth isn’t about perfection; it’s about awareness.

✨ Your mind craves the familiar—even when it hurts.

Even when healing feels good, it’s new—and the brain clings to the old, to what it knows. Sometimes, stepping into peace feels more uncomfortable than staying in pain, simply because pain is familiar. And so, you might self-sabotage. You might resist. You might find yourself slipping into old patterns. That doesn’t erase how far you’ve come. Healing is about noticing when this happens and gently bringing yourself back. Again and again.

✨ You are learning to hold your pain with love, not erase it.

Healing isn’t about making the past disappear. It’s about making peace with it. It’s about learning that you can carry your story without it defining you, that you can feel the sadness without drowning in it. Some days, this will feel effortless. Other days, it will feel impossible. Neither means you’re failing.

So if today feels heavy, if it feels like you’re back at square one—you’re not. This is how healing works. It’s raw, it’s painful, it’s full of contradictions. But you are healing, even now. Especially now.

I needed to remind myself of this today. Maybe you did too.

Keep going. Be soft with yourself. Let the waves come and go. You’re not broken—you’re becoming whole.

From my soul to yours,

Anca Pinciuc 🪷