Healing Begins in Safe Spaces Where Every Story is Honoured

Healing Begins in Safe Spaces Where Every Story is Honoured

This is the heart of what I want us to hold onto in our weekly group meetings. 💕

Healing versus wallowing—it’s a question I’ve wrestled with so many times, both in my personal journey and in my work as a counsellor.

The truth is, it’s not always easy to tell the difference.

When you’ve been through something deeply painful, it’s natural to revisit your story. To try and make sense of it. To have someone witness it, validate it. That’s such an important part of healing.

But I’ve learned that there comes a point when telling that story again and again stops being about releasing the pain and becomes a way of living in it.

And it’s not because we’re weak. Sometimes, the story feels like the only thing we have left.

So how do we know where the line is?

For me, it all comes down to why I’m sharing my story.

Am I telling it to understand myself better?

To connect with others?

To finally lay some of the weight down?

Or am I telling it because it’s familiar, like an old wound that hurts but somehow feels safe?

Healing is messy. It’s uncomfortable. It’s exhausting. It asks us to look at the parts of ourselves we’ve tried to hide, to feel the things we’ve been running from, and then to take those terrifying steps forward into the unknown. But wallowing—it keeps us stuck. It keeps us in the same cycle of pain, circling what we’ve been through without making space for what’s ahead.

But let me say this: If you catch yourself stuck, if you find yourself in that loop of retelling your story, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human. 🌱 Trauma wraps itself around our identities, and letting go of it can feel like letting go of a part of ourselves. Who am I without my pain? Who will I be if I don’t carry this anymore?

In my own life, I’ve had to learn that healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean dismissing your story or pretending it never happened. It means learning to honour your story without letting it define you. I still tell my story, but now I tell it with intention—to connect with others, to inspire hope, and to remind myself just how far I’ve come.

If you’re wondering whether you’re healing or holding on, ask yourself this:

✨ Does telling your story feel empowering or does it leave you drained?✨ Are you learning something new about yourself, or is it the same old cycle?✨ Are you using your story to connect and grow, or has it become a place to hide?

Be honest with yourself, but be kind. Healing isn’t a straight road. There will be days when you revisit your pain and days when moving forward feels impossible. That’s okay.

Just remember, healing isn’t about erasing your story—it’s about choosing not to live in it anymore.

If you or someone you know could benefit from this week’s meeting, I invite you to join or share the details: every Thursday, 11:00 AM UK time, on Zoom. 💻

Together, we’ll create a space where stories are honoured, but healing leads the way.

From my soul to yours,

Anca Pinciuc ✨